My wife and I have been together for a few years and have only been married for two, and sometimes she can't get an orgasm during sex? Am I doing something wrong? It has gotten so bad that she masturbates in front of me before we have sex just so she makes sure she is "taken care of". Help me please.
Women are inherently very complicated creatures. For most women, the sun, moon, and stars have to all be aligned to have an orgasm during sex, and there are a lot of factors involved in that. First of all, women are very emotional creatures. If they have had a bad day at work, or if they are stressed, or just not in the mood, the chances of you giving her an orgasm is not very good. Women need to be relaxed and happy. Try having her take a nice warm shower or bath first to relax her, and then maybe rub some lotion or oil all over her to keep her relaxed and start getting her in the mood.
Another mistake that men make is the lack of, or not enough foreplay. Never go right for the goods, slow down and take the time to get her all hot and bothered. If you take your time and go slowly, she will be far more lubricated and sensitive. Take an extra minute or ten and kiss all those places that may not get enough attention. Another thing that you can try is maybe a little oral sex first, kissing and licking in the right places makes all of the difference.
Something else that many men don't know is that most women do not orgasm by penetration alone, and they feel like they are doing something wrong. All women are built differently and that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with them or you. It simply means that they need more than one kind of stimulation to be able to orgasm. Try giving her clitoral stimulation as well as penetration or maybe use a small vibrator that can be worn or put on your finger. Another thing people can try is changing the positions that you are in during sex. Typically, people attribute "missionary" or man-on-top position as the typical one for sex. That position does not give the woman the most pleasure because the penis does not touch the G-spot or clitoris as much. Try changing positions to woman on top maybe or any other position that lends her the most exposure and pleasure.
One thing that I stress in all of my articles is communication. Talk to her, ask her what she wants and how she wants it. You obviously want to please her and give her an orgasm as much as you want one. As with everything else, relationship or sex related, communication is the key. If you can have sex, you can talk about it. I hope this helped a bit, and good luck!
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