Scared in Raleigh

My husband and I have been married for three years and I really want to try using toys. I am afraid that if I tell him, he may think that there is something wrong with him or the sex. The sex is great I just want to try new things! How do I tell him without offending him?

First of all, this situation is completely normal and fairly common, and in my profession, I have run into many women with the same problem. Toys are wonderful and can add a lot to a relationship, but so many men are intimidated by toys because they feel that there may be something wrong with the sex or that they are being replaced. First of all, you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him you want to try new things. Be honest with him, and make sure that he knows that you do not want to replace him, you just want to enhance the extra-curricular activities in the bedroom.

Many people try to start out by pulling out a dildo and saying, "Hunny, want to try something new?" Start out small, first with maybe a lube or an edible... then work up to something else, maybe a small vibrator bullet and then progress to the more extravagant toys. Many men don't realize how enticing it can be to use a toy on a woman until their first experience with it. The main thing is to start out small and work your way up, all of the time having good communication. Another thing, if your man is afraid of toys and you encourage him to start using them with you, don't use them all of the time. Take time to work in the good old-fashioned method of sex and love making.