Some of the biggest questions I have received recently are on loss of libido after pregnancy. Most women have a huge drop in their readiness and desire to have sex after pregnancy for many reasons. Some of the main ones are:
• Stress
• Exhaustion
• Fear of getting pregnant again
• Massive hormone imbalance
• Loss of self-confidence in body image
After a pregnancy, our entire bodies change more rapidly and dramatically than during puberty, and suddenly our whole world is different. My friend, Michele, asked this question, and I am sure most of us can identify with it. "I used to like sex and then now I can't stand it. I hate the way I look naked and I have no sexual drive anymore." Almost all women feel this way after having a baby and most of us have "baby baggage" that just hasn't gone away yet. Most women feel like they are doing something wrong by not losing the weight, especially those who know one of the lucky women who lost the weight quickly after her pregnancy. Also, there are always pictures in magazines and on television showing women that lost weight dramatically and quickly. What people don't think about is that most of these women pay people to stay with their children so they can spend several hours in a gym with a personal trainer. It is unlikely for the rest of us to be able to do the same. The best way to help lose the weight after pregnancy is diet and exercise, and you should talk that over with your doctor to help decide what will work best for you. What about the sexual aspect though?
I talk with women from all walks of life every day and all of them have something that they don't like about their body. They don't know what to do to help them feel sexy and want to be intimate with their partner. Here are a few ways that may help you:
• First of all relax and remember that your partner doesn't love you
just because of the way you look. What is important to him is the
person that you are.
• Tell your partner how you feel. Communication helps build intimacy and trust.
• Do something to take your mind off of what you don't like about your body and focus on something you do like.
• Work with what you got. If you have large hips and breasts, own it!
Choose clothing or lingerie that hide the parts you don't like and show
off the parts you do. Slowly you will find yourself liking what you see
in the mirror.
• If you don't want to have sex with the lights on, it's ok you don't
have to. Try candles, they are relaxing and not as bright so you don't
feel as though you are on display.
• Do what makes you feel sexy -- a warm shower or bath, lingerie, or try
something with pheromones that makes your partner fall all over you.
• There are great products on the market that help get you in the mood.
My favorite, and the best in my opinion, is called Pure Satisfaction.
It comes in pill and gel form, and it is used to enhance libido and
provide a healthier and more active sex life. It is also safe and
encouraged for both men and women.
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